Online Dating - Worth Considering?

I’ve recently been thinking more and more about online dating. Why? I’m really not sure. It didn’t work for me the first time around, so why exactly do I think it would work this time? Don’t worry, so far, I have been able to resist the overwhelming temptation to sign on to another site. There is a funny thing about that, because this has happened before. It usually works out that every time I feel such a strong pull to do something... and at the same time, a strong pull not to do that same thing, whenever I end up doing it, it was a wrong decision. There’s probably a blog in there somewhere too (words from Paul come to mind), but for now we’ll just leave that thought where it lays.

At any rate, let’s talk about online dating. Here’s what always cracks me up the most: the guys I’m set up with, would never work, not even on paper. Let’s take a guy who recently “winked” at me. We’ll call him Jordan, because it’s always easier to talk about someone once they’re named. I have no idea if that is his real name or not… we’ll hope that it’s not, so no one can go to Jordan and tell him I was talking about him.

Jordan winked at me yesterday. So, I went to check out his profile. Right off the bat, I know this is going to go nowhere. It’s not his photos that tell me that. He almost looks like a descent guy. And as much as I would like to judge someone from their photos, I know that wouldn’t be fair. Online photos never do anyone justice, unless you’re a celebrity or you’ve been airbrushed. So, try as I might, I really try not to judge anyone off of that first look. I certainly hope no one is judging me from my photos (though, I know they are.)

I really can’t say that I remember what Jordan talked about that first made me realize that this was a dead-end. It doesn’t really matter. The deeper that I got into his profile, the more I could tell that the initial feeling was completely correct.

Jordan talked about how he has several tattoos. None of which you can see from his photos, by the way. He said that his story is in his tattoos and that he is always looking for more ink. Okay, not to sound at all prejudiced, because I’m not, but I like white boys who aren’t permanently painted up. I mean, putting on the occasional “war paint” for things like football games or anything similar is one thing. I would like for you to be able to wash that off though. I want to see what you look like, thank you very much.

Jordan also says that multiple piercing turns him on. This would be another negative check mark in my book. I have a co-worker who is multiply pierced. She has so many earrings, that she’s run out of room on her earlobes and up at the top of her ear. Even that little piece of skin right in front of her ear-hole is pierced. When you’re really lucky, you can even catch the glint from her tongue piercing. Ew. And really, it is so hard to take her seriously. To consider that anything she has to say is important. I'm usually so distracted by her piercings that I have to look away from her to actually hear her. Yeah, a real turn on, let me tell you.

As if the tattoos and piercing hopes weren’t enough, then Jordan talked about his dream of one day starting a dog shelter of sorts. He works with dogs, so wants a place where he can rescue dogs, bring them back to health, and then give them away to people who need them. As noble as that sounds, I have no desire for a future with lots of dogs. I’ve had way too much of my life already spent being one up-ed by dogs. I can’t say that I would actually choose a life where dogs have to come first.

Another thing with online dating that I have noticed, and you don’t need a membership for, is found simply when checking out people’s profiles. I am amazed with how many people I am set up with, who don’t meet any of my core “must haves.” How does that work? I thought it was a computer that was analyzing data to create these "matches." Exactly how is that supposed to tempt me to sign up with your site? When I do finally sort through all the dross and find someone I might be able to be interested in, I most commonly see that they haven’t been active for 3 weeks. Wow. Sounds again like I don’t stand a chance in getting to know him either. Again, when I am lucky enough to get “winked” at, it’s always the guys that I wouldn’t dream of considering. Are they actually picking me because they think we have something in common, or because they’re trying to fulfill their membership requirements? You know, with match.com, you have to try talking to at least 4 people a month (or you don’t get your 6 months free, for not finding someone within your first 6 months after signing up). At least it doesn’t say that they have to talk back!

I had to laugh at one guy’s profile. He actually said: “enough with the ‘winks,’ please email me”. Does he really want a girl who’s going to make the first move? I mean, usually guys don’t like that. Usually, guys will discount a girl if she tries to make him notice her. This is also a little twisted. You wouldn’t have noticed her if she didn’t say anything, but at the same time, you’re not interested because she said “hello” first. Well make up your mind already!

I know that the only reason why the whole online dating thing came up is because I’m again feeling old. I’m again feeling like I’m not going to find that special someone. I know that I won’t find anybody where I work as all the guys are married. I’m seriously beginning to think that must be a hiring requirement; “you must be married if you’re going to sign on with us”. I even talked to one manager who does a lot of hiring and firing. I literally said: “help a single sister out here!” He laughed. Does he not realize how serious I am? Although, now that I think about it, there was one single guy who worked for the I.T. company. I think he lasted almost a month before he was fired. It really wouldn’t have worked out anyway. He was way too pretty for his own good. And, let me tell you, he certainly knew how pretty he was. I don’t think I could handle a guy who is prettier than I am. It would be way too much competition. My self-esteem is low enough as it is. ;)

The other problem with finding a guy where I work: money. People are so “funny” about their money. I can’t imagine any guy wanting to consider someone “behind the desk” who has open access to their financial records. Not that I blame them. Usually I try to not think about the fact that this or that guy is single when I’m assembling tax returns. However, it’s not always so easy when I have one of the accountants telling me, “you should consider him. He tithes more than 10%.” This really is wonderful, except that he would have to see me as more than just a ditzy receptionist before a relationship could go anywhere.

And then there’s the bar scene. A long time ago, I said no to even considering that option. It only partly has to do with the fact that smelling alcohol is usually enough to make me feel a little buzz. Sadly, I’m not kidding.

Which leaves church, and I can’t exactly say that’s really a viable option either. I’m not saying that I’ve miraculously found the only church in the world that has all married guys. I’m just saying that… well, I probably shouldn’t even say that either. Best to leave that can of worms unopened...

So, I’m stuck in the land of “when you stop looking, you’ll find him.” Funny, I have been not looking on and off for about 10 years now. So far, that plan is really working out for me. Obviously.

I guess I’ll just keep not looking, and wishing on the evening star. And maybe in another 10 years, I’ll buy me a couple of cats. (By the way, aside from being too cheap, that is one reason why I don’t own any animals anymore. I don’t want to be seen as the “crazy cat lady.” I lived next door to her once. It was so scary that it made me not want to own another cat for as long as I live! ...at least, not while I'm still single!)
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